When Positive Feedback Is Holding You Back
The "laziest" feedback usually goes to the best employees. If you’re hearing "you're doing great" but aren't moving forward, it’s time to stop accepting pleasantries and start leading the conversation
A friend said something a few weeks ago that’s still stuck in my brain.
He told me, “My manager genuinely likes me, but I have no idea what to do with the feedback he gives me.”
And I felt that familiar pull in my chest immediately.
Because I’ve been in that exact moment, more than once.
You walk into a performance conversation with your boss hoping for direction - hoping he’ll tell you exactly which gaps you need to close to secure your next promotion…
But that’s not what you get.
Instead, you walk out with a sense of reassurance that seems supportive on the surface but offers nothing to act on.
And then the quiet frustration sets in.
Everyone keeps saying you’re doing well… so why aren’t you any closer to the growth you’ve been working so damn hard for?
There’s a specific kind of stagnation high performers experience.
It isn’t loud. It isn’t dramatic. But it’s subtle, draining and incredibly hard to articulate.
The Hidden Pattern High Performers Experience
Here’s what most people don’t acknowledge:
High performers receive the laziest feedback in the entire organisation.
And I’ll tell you why.
It’s not that managers are trying to be difficult or hold you back.
It’s that they assume you don’t need more clarity.
Yep. They’re making a big, fat assumption that you already have everything you need.
They see you as the reliable one—the person who figures things out.
So when it comes to genuine, actionable feedback, they default to pleasantries:
“You’re doing great.”
“Keep doing what you’re doing.”
“I have no concerns at all.”
Sure, it sounds nice.
But it tells you nothing about what to do differently to accelerate your goals.
And this is the part that wears you down over time.
With every surface-level performance conversation, the gap between what you need and what you’re given grows wider.
You start feeling responsible for filling in the blanks. And you begin second-guessing what “great” actually means.
If this is your reality right now:
A) You are not alone, and
B) Most high performers quietly carry the weight of unclear expectations because they’re held to a higher standard while being given lower-quality direction.
Fair? Absolutely not. But the corporate world rarely is.
Why Your Manager Isn’t Giving You What You Need
Here’s something that surprises almost everyone I coach:
Your manager often doesn’t know what your next level requires either.
I’m envisioning half of you smiling and nodding, and the other half staring at the screen like… wait, what?
And while you’re here, I’ll go one step further. It’s usually not a lack of manager skill.
It’s a lack of bandwidth.
Most managers spend their days in reactive mode:
Meetings. Escalations. Deadlines. Hiring gaps.
They’re not sitting around mapping out your long-term development with precision.
So the conversation stays surface-level, unless you guide it deeper.
This is why so many high performers feel stuck. They keep living in a state of “lack of clarity.”
How to Lead the Conversation Instead of Waiting for It
Here’s what changes this reality:
You can train your leadership to give you better feedback by elevating the quality of questions you bring into the discussion.
Try these in your next 1:1:
What would exceeding expectations look like in my role?
What do you see leaders at the next level doing differently than me?
If you had to choose one focus that would accelerate my growth, what would it be?
If your manager pauses, good!
That pause isn’t a problem. It’s proof that the conversation just shifted into the clarity you’ve been craving.
And the friend who sparked this article in the first place, he sent me this update a few days ago:
“I asked him those questions, and you were right, it transformed the entire conversation. I also followed your advice and offered two options for each question, and he loved it. He actually said, ‘This is really helpful, thanks for taking it a step further.’”
It sounds simple, right? Just a few questions.
But most people don’t do it.
We default to waiting for them to lead the conversation. We wait for them to fill in the gaps.
And this one simple strategy pulls you out of waiting… and into taking ownership of your clarity and your growth plan.
Just like my friend.
He became a strategic partner in his own development instead of a passive recipient of polite, empty feedback.
And that single 1:1 created more momentum toward his promotion than years of hard work ever did.
Here’s the funny thing about accelerated growth from mid-level to senior roles:
The strategies don’t get harder. You just learn to be more strategic.
I’d love to hear from you. Are you facing a similar situation with your boss? Just hit “ME” on LinkedIn.
P.S. If you want to build on this strategy and make it more personalised to your specific situation, book your free call now.